, -^^Bq'^24 




^M^ orPt rA'rAT.O(rI'E;FPtEE TO ANY OXE. ^_m 




AMES' SERIES OF ;^^^ 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. V^^ 
NO. 146. 



OUR AWFUL AUNT 









lC 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTKRS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS 
OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- 
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:in' ("hiiiily iiii>\v<M<i|. ]'i\.-,. I", .-.■nt-. 




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I NO. M. V. 

129 Anr-u-ng-oos 2 1 

132 Actor and Servant 1 1 

12 A Capital Match 3 2 

30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 

2 A Desjierate Game 3 2 

75 Adrift fi 4 

80 Alarminjrly Suspicious ... 4 3 

136 A Legal Holiday 5 3 

39 A Lite's Revenge 7 5 

124 An Afflicted Family 7 5 

7S An Awful Criminal 3 

15 An Unhappy Pair = 1 

65 An Unwelcome Return ... 3 

31 A Pet of the Public 4 

21 A Romantic Attachment.. 3 
43 Arrah de Baugh 7 

123 A Thrilling Item 3 

73 At Last 7 

20 A Ticket of Leave 3 

125 AuLl Robin Gray 25c 13 

100 AuroraFloyd 7 

89 Beautv of Lyons U 

8 Better Half 5 

98 Black Statue 3 

113 Bill Derrick 6 

86 Black vs White 4 

14 Brigands of Calabria ...... 6 

22 Captain Smith 3 

84 Cheek Will Win 3 

145 Cuff's Luck 2 

49 Der Two Surprises 1 

72 Deuce is in Him 5 

19 Did I Dream it 4 

42 Domestic Felicity 1 

60 Driven to the Wall 10 

Emigrant's Daughter 8 

Fetter Lane toGravesend.. 2 

. 3 

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143 

27 

13 
117 

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66 
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52 
141 

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130 

76 
140 

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103 



Give Me My Wife. 
Hal Hazard, 25c .. 



Handy Andy 2 

Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 1 

Hash 4 2 

Henry Granden 11 8 

Hidden Treasures 4 2 

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How He Did It 3 2 

How He Popped Quest'n.. I 1 

How She has Ovvn Way... 1 3 
How Sister Paxey got Her 

Child Baptized 2 1 



NO. 

74 
35 
26 

47 
95 

77 
11 
99 

82 
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127 
106 

104 
46 

139 
91 
36 
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69 
1 
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How to Tame M-in-Law.. 4 2 
How Stout Y'r Getting ... 5 2 
Hunter of the Alps...."...,. 9 4 

In the Wrong Box 3 

In the Wrong Clothes 5 3 

Joe's Visit 2 1 

John Smith .') 3 

Jumbo Jum 4 

Killing Time 1 

Lady Audley's Secret 6 

Lady of Lyons 12 

Lick Skillet Wedding 2 

Lodgings for Two 3 

Lost 6 

Man and Wife 12 

Matrimonial Bliss I 

Michael Erie (■ 

Miller of DerwentW'tr... 5 

Mischievous Nigger 4 

Mistletoe Bough 7 

Mother's Fool 6 

Mr. and Mrs. Pringle 7 

^ly Heart's in Highl'ds .. 4 

My Wife's Relations 

Musical Darkey 

New Years in N. Y 

No Cure, No Pay 

Not as Deaf as He Seems 

Not So Bad After All 

Obedience 1 

Old Phil's Birthday 5 

Old Pompey 1 

On the Sly 3 

Other People's Children.. 3 

146 Our Awful Aunt 4 

126 Our Daughters 8 

85 Outcast'.s Wife 12 

83 Out on the World 5 

53 Out in the Streets 6 

57 Paddy Miles' Boy 5 

29 Painter of Ghent 5 

114 Passions 8 

18 Poacher's Doom 8 

134 Pomp's Pranks 2 

51 Rescued 5 

110 Reverses 12 

45 Rock Allen 5 

96 Rooms to Let 2 

171 Rough Diamond 6 

59 Saved 2 



OUR, AWFUL AUNT 

A COMIC DRAMA, * 

IN TWO ACTS, 



IDA M. BUXTON, 



AUTHOR OP 



Bow She Has ITcr Own IT'cv?/; The Census Taker; A fSewing Circle oj 
(he Period; How He Popped the Question; Tit for Tat; Mat- 
rimonial Bliss; Why they Joined the Pebcccas; Etc, 



fL^ ^ 



Entered acMrding to act of Congress in the year ISSo, hy 

A. D. AMES, 
in the oj/icc of the Librarian of Congress, at Wctshington. 



♦ CLYDE, OHIO, t- 



A, L>. AMES, PUBLISHER. 



n i 3 



OUR AWFUL AUNT. 



MRS. HASLETON .,.. a Widow 

ALICE , , her Datighter 

CARRIE BEIS^TON engaged to Frank 

MATILDA JOHNSON ........ Our Awful Aunt, 

FRANK HASLETON Alice's Brother 

ARTHUR WALLACE , a Fop and Villain 

PETE.,., Mrs. H.'s Colored Servant 

PAVID MANN.... , Wallace's Accompliet 



COSTUMES— MODERN, 



TIME OF PERFORMANCE— ONE HOUR. 



TIME— THE PRESENTo 



OUR AWFUL AUNT. 



ACT I. 



SCENE FIRST.— Mrs. Hasleton's sitting room, nmtJy famished. Alice 
Hasleton and Carrie Benton seated near each other. 

Alice. Oh, Carrie, I am so glad you are here at last; for weeks have I 
looked forward to your visit as the crowning ejDoch of the whole year and 
impatiently counted the days before your arrival j now that you are hero 
you shall not soon leave us. 

Carrie I doubt if I shall be in a hurry to do so, you know I always love 
to be with you. Alice. 

Alice. Am I the only attraction which keeps you here? Ah, you sly 
little rogue! You know very well that I am only a secondary person, but 
never mind, since my rival in your affections is my own brother, 1 will 
keep my jealousy within bounds. But Carrie dear, 1 have a serious subject 
to speak about in connection with Frank, can you guess it? 

Carrie. You mean his'intimacy with Mr. Wallace. 

Alice. Yes, I dislike Mr. Wallace because I know he is exerting an evil 
influence over Frank. 

Carrie. I have the same fear myself; I have never seen Mr. Wallace 
but once yet the first glance revealed his character and I trembled for 
Frank's safety. 

Alice. We must save him. 

Carrie. How 1 He will not hear a word against Mr, Wallace. 

Alice. You have more influence than I ; he will listen to you quicker 
than to his sister; you must bring all your love and earnestness into force. 

Enter Mrs. Hasleion r. 

Mrs H. Chattering away like two magpies eh ? What is the subject of 
discussion, the last ball or your neighbor's bonnet? 

Alice. Now mother, that's too bad of you, we are not gossiping a bit. 

Mrs H. I have some news for you. I have just received a letter from 
Aunt Matilda saying she will make us a visit and will arrive to-day, 

Alice. Aunt Matilda I Oh, dear, how provoking I 

Carrie. Who is this unwelcome visitor ? 

Alice. The rqost outlandish, pokiest old maid in Christendom ; she's al- 
ways saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and making every one as 
disagreeable as possible. 

Carrie. A charming recommend for the poor woman. 

Mrs H. Alice, you ought not to speak in that manner. True, Aunt Ma- 
tilda is very eccentric yet she is very kind hearted and really loves us. 

Alice. Perhaps so, but she might try to act like other people. Just think 
of all the uncivilized things she did when here before. One day I found 
her standing on the corner of the street having her shoes blacked, and sho 
actually rode on the outside of the hack with the driver because she alwaja 



4 OUR AWFUL AUNT. 

did so in the country on those horrible stages, one could see so much more 
she argued. 

Carrie. She will he amusing any way. 

Enter Pete, R. 

Pete. Missus, dere's a whole caraban out to de door; de hack stop an' de 
old lady hists out au' golly dat hackman hab ben takin' out bundles fer 
de las hour an' he ain't done yet; nebber doueseeso many bundles afore in 
my life ; can't get em all in de house nohow. 

Alice. It's Aunt Matilda 1 

Mrs II. .Pete, go and help her with the bundles. 

Fete. Gollies, yer tinks I'se gwine ter carry all dem bundles? Not much ; 
'twould take lebeuty-five niggers to carry half ob dera. 

Mrs H. Go and open the door for her. {exit Pete R.) Now girls you 
must bear patiently with Aunt Matilda's whims. 

Enter Aunt Matilda r. carri/ing boxes, bundles ayid hinck of herbs. 

Aunt M. Wal, here I be at last! S'pose yeou begun tew think I wan't 
in ever comin', but I've arriv' all right, {shakes hands with Mrs. H. and Alice, 

Enter Pete r. carrying boxes luhich he puts down tvith many grimaces. 

Pete. Dere old lady, dere's all yer perwisions, I should devise yer ter 
start a 'spressliue an' dat mighty quick; my left shoulder am all displetely 
pulverized an dat muskle in my right arm am all dead gone contirely ; 
guess yer lib on ban'-boxes don't yer? 

Mrs H. Matilda, you must make yourself as comfortable as possible. 
Are you not tired after your long journey ? 

Aunt M. Wal, kinder tuckered out a leeile. I'll set down here an' rest 
a while. {scats herself. 

Pete. An' Til set down here an' res' a while, {sits on one of Aunt Ma- 
tilda's band-boxes, crushing it to the floor) Hi dere, dat am de mos' insartain 
seat dat I eber tried, let a feller down widout any umvertation ; guess I'll 
try anudder. {-rises to his feet. 

Mrs H. Why Pete, what have you done? 

Pete. Nuffiu' much; ben pressin' outde old gal's ban-box I reckon. 

Aunt M. For njassy sake, yeou-pesky fool, don't yeou knov/ no better'n 
to set right down on my new bunnet. (jndls her bonnet from the ruins and 
tries to straighten it.) 

Pete. How's I ter know y^r keeps yer bonnit in dat yere box ? Yer neb- 
ber done tole a feller, how yer specs I'se gwine ter know? 

Alice. Here Aunt Matildu, let me stniiijhten the bonnet". 

Aunt M. (handing it to her) Wal cliili],ef yeou're a mind ter try it I 

wish yeou would, yeou kin see a leeile bettor'n I kin. (to Pete) Yeou great 

lumber- heels, I spose vou'd sot down there eft had a ben full o' eo'o-s. 

1111 .> ' °° ' 

wouldn t ye .' ~ 

Feie. Dunno 'bout dat; I'se mighty fon' ob eggs, dal's a fac', but we don't 
fricassee um in dat way. (makes motion io sit on another box) Say what 
am in dis yere steam-boat ? 

Aunt M. {rushing at him with uplifted hands) I'll teech yeou tew med- 
dle with my luggage, yeou impudent young ape. {Pete dodges the blow, she 
chases him, finally hits him and he falls full Idigth, crushing another band-box. 
She siezes him by the ear, raises him to his feet and shakes him vigorously) 
There yeou consarned lunatic, I'll teech yeou tew let my things alone. I'll 
shake the daylights right out o' yeou. 

Pete. Say old lady, quit yer foolin' an let dis yere nigger alone ; dis chile 
am pow'ful dang'rous when he's mad an' yer jis luff me alone now. 

A/ice. Really, Aunt Matilda would niake an excellent prize fighter. 



OUR AWFUL AUJJT. 5 

Ifrs H. Let us put a stop to this scene. Pete, you are to be very respeet- 
fUi and polite to Aunt Matilda during her stfiy.' 

Peii. How long am she gwine ter stay? 

Aunt M. That hain't no cousarn o' yeourn, yeou sassy nigwer. 

Mrs H. Pete^ remove these boxes and bundles to the roonf prepared for 
Aunt Matilda. '^ 

Pcle carries them tctkinj a part at a time,' then returning tioicc. 

Aunt M. Wal neow I'm rale glad to be here ; sech a peslcv time ez I had 
a gitten* started; fust the old boss had a tech o' epizooty an' then the cow 
got lamed an I had to keer fur her, batfin'ly I sez, sez I, there I'm a goin' 
tew start fur Marther's- tertnorrer or I shan t never git there. Wal Mariher 
heow bo yeou a giltin' on ? 

Mrs IT. Very nicely indeed, Aunt, 

Aunt M. An' o' course Alice here is pert an' chipper; hain't married vit 
be yeou ? '' 

Alice. No, Aunt; you know matrimony was never one of mv pet schemes. 

Aunt M. It's jpst ez well; thet's what I used tow say when evervbodv 
thought I was agoin' tew marry Hozekiah Spooner, I si-z .^ez f, let 'em ^i't 
married r-z want's tew but I hdint got retldy tew jump from the fryiu' pan 
inter the fire. But who's this gal? Some o' yeoar friends I s'poso Alice. 

Alice. Yes, this is Carrie Benton, a very dear Iriend and an old school- 
mate. ,, 

Aunt M. Benton, yeou say? Neow I used tew know a faniilv 0' Ben- 
tons that lived in York state, I wonder ef you're any o' thesr sort? 
' Carrie. I have reatives in that state; i don't know whether they aro 
among your acquaintances or not. 

Aunt M. Wal, these Benlons I mean was pesky lazy the whole lot on 
'em , they used tew live in our neighborhood, down by the old yaller saw- 
mill, an' one winter, 'twas mighty tough times, an' old Benton found it 
kinder hard tew scratch rouu' fur the wliole on 'em, so old Squire Bascomb 
sent 'em down a l*ad o' wood au' old Benton was tew lazy tew cut it an' 
swore he wouldn't burn a stick ef the Squire wan't man enuif to cut it fur 
him. 

Carrie. I don't think I belong to that family, none of my people have 
ever gained the reputation of idlers. 

Aunt M. I s'pose not, but I've heern some on 'em turned out raiddlia 
well ; one o' the boys was a Methody minister an' one on 'em went to Texas 
an' was hung fur hoss-stealin'. 

Alice, (asirle to Carrie) She is tracing your pedigree in an agreeable 
manner. 

Mrs H. I think Aunt, you are mistaken, Carrie isn't one of that familv. 

Aunt M. Mebbe not, but then — 

Mrs H. At no distant day I hope to call her daughter. 
- Aunt M. Dew tell ! Yeou don't mean tew say that Frank's agoin' tew 
git married? 

Alice. That is just it. Aunt Matilda. 

Aunt M. Wal how's Frank gitien' on? When Josiah cum home he said, 
80Z he, Frank's cashier in a bank now an' he feels ez big ez four pecks o' 
onions. 

\Entj 'Pete, b. 

Pete. Pere, dem boxes am all / julnavigated in dat yere room an' Ijes 
links 'twould be de bes' ting fer'^eou ter put a perdition on dis house ef 
yeou'se gwine ter hab any mo' visiters what brungs boxes enufT fer a cir- 
cus, an' grass fer tor feed do animals wi'd. 

Aunt M. Grass, yeou plaguey beetle head I them's yarbs ! what ou airth 
hev yeou done with 'em? Sjtilt the whole lot, I'll warrant I what hev veou 
done with 'em? 



9 OUR AWFUL AUKT. 

Pete,. l)one wid what? 

Aunt M. With them yarbs. 

Pete. Dey'3 all right, I put 'em whar yer kin git 'em when yeour's h^Lg* 
ry; mighty funny kin' o' vitctuals dem isi 

Aunt M. Wal^ I never see sech impidence in my life I That's the sassiest 
tiigger I ever did see. Yeou see Marther, I brung along some catnip, 
pennyrial an' eech like, they're fust-rate in case o' sickness. 

Pete, {aside) Dat's de wus old maid skarcrow I eber see^ don't raise 
dem kin' down in old Virginny whar I'se born; dere '11 be same fun ef 
she's gwine ter stay, dis nigger mus' look out fer his wool an* dat old gal 
jTQUs' jes look out fer herself or dere'U be trouble j I aint gwine ter take sass 
frum dat kin' o' white trash, no sah. 

Alice. Here are Frank and Mr. Wallace. 

Eyiter Frank and Mr. Wallace, L. 

Wallace^ Good evening, ladies* 

Frank, Home at lastl Why Aunt Matilda, this is an Unexpected 
pleasure, when did you arrive? 

Aunt Mi This arternoon. Bless my eyes, yeou're growed hansum like 
all possest, yeou look jest like yeour marm'a kind o' folks ; ef I dew say it, 
thare wan't never a homely Johnson in the whole family ; when I was 
young 'n chipper all the beaux in the kountry used tew tell how handsum 
Matilda Johnson was, an' I bed plenty o' chances tew git married, but I 
alius sed, sez I, no sir, I haint goin' tew git spliced tew no man round here, 
I'll have the best or none. 

Pete, (aside) De man mus' be dead gone crazy, what would marry dat 
old steam-engine. 

Aunt M. Yeour marm's ben a tellin' me how yeou kinder kalkilate on 
gittin* married ; that's a pert little gal, she looks pretty, but yeou can't 
alius tell by appearances, ef she's one o' them kind o' Beuton's that used 
tew live'down by the old yaller saw-mill she's — 

Alice. Oh, Aunt Matilda, do let those Bentons alone. 

Frank. Aunt, let me introduce my friend Mr. Wallace ; Wallace, this 
IS Aunt Matilda Johusonj a relative of my mothers. 

Wallace, {extending his hand) I am delighted to make your acquaintance, 
madam. 

Aunt M. Be yeou ! Bless me, how cold yeour hands are ! Is yeour 
health good? I never knew any body to hev cold hands but what some- 
thin' ailed 'em, I don't believe yeour liver is jest right, ef that's it I brung 
Bome 3''arb3 with me that'll cure yeou in no time. 

Wallace. Thanks, my good woman for your kindness, but I have no need 
of your herbs. 

Aunt M, Mebbe not, but yeou won't hold out ef yeou hain't keerful ; 
neow there's Zeb Jones, he had the asthma the wus kind, an' I wanted 
aim to drink some yarb tea, but he wouldn't an' last week he died. 

Pete, {aside) Golly, I should tink her tongue would hab de cramps, 
^uess it's a patent what goes an' goes an' nebber stops. 

Wallace, Ladies, this has been a delightful afternoon, especially so in 
jour cosy home. Hasleton is a lucky fellow to be possessor of sych an at- 
tractive home, ruled by such charming ladies. 

Alice. Spare your fine sentences, Mr. Wallace ; you know I don't appreci- 
ate flattery. 

Wallace, I am speaking the truth. No one can so appreciate home life, 
«(S he who is far away from "home, sweet home." 

Aunt 31. I s'pose yeou know that tune, don't yeou? I used tew sing 
that tew Squire Haskins, when he come a sparkin' me, that was arter his 
Becond wife, she t'was Polly Larkins, arter she died. 

Pete, {aside) I jes wish I had dat old gal's tongue, ter put in dat watch 
ob mine : golly, dere nebber'd be any danger ob it stoppin' again. 



OUR AWFUL AUNT, ' T 

Frank. Carrie, why do you look so sad ? You've scarcely smiled slncd 
•we came in, one would think you had mountains of trouble on your should- 
ers. 

Carrie. I was thinking— one can't always be merry, you know. 

Aunt M. Did yeou say yeou was a Wallace? 

Wallace, That ia my name. 

Aunt M. Wal neow, I wonder ef yeou're one o' them Wallaces that 
used tew live at Brown's Holler, there was six o' the children, an' yeovi 
look a heap like Cynthia ; she was an old maid, yeou know ; she done her 
best tew ketch Squire Hawkins, but the Squire alius sed, sez he, ef I can't 
hare Matilda Johnson, I'll live alone, an' so Cynthia got mad an' died that 
Fall ; the doctor sed t'was congestion o' the lungs, but I alius know'd she 
died out o' spite. 

Wallace, {aside) That woman ought to be in a lunatic asylum, {fo Aunt 
2d.) I don't think the Cynthia of your story, was a relative of mine. 
. Aunt M. Mebbe not, but I wouldn't be s'prised ef she was; she bad 
kinder weak eyes. It's tew bad yeour eyes hain't strong, but I bruug a 
yarb that's a sure cure fur sore eyes, yeou steep it in hot water au — 

Wallace, {aside) Heavens ! I'm nearly wild, {to Frank) Come, Hasle- 
ton, if we are going down street had we not better start? 

Mrs H. Frank, you are not going out this evening, are you? 

Frank. Only for a while. Good-by all. €ome Carrie, cheer up, drive 
away that sadness, and welcome me with a smile when 1 return. 

{Frank and Wallace, exit i.. 

Pete. Dere dey's gone off on anudder bust, an' Massa Frank needn't 
tink I'se gwine ter tote off down street after him ebery night jes' 'cos ha 
don't know enuff to come hisself; I wan't made to lug tipsy fellers round 
no how. 

Ajint M. Tipsey ? Marther yeou don't mean tew say that Frank's took 
ter drinkin', dew yeou? 

Mrs H. My heart is greatly troubled on Frank's account ; until lately, 
he has been a model fellow, but for some time now I have had reason lu 
fear that the tempter was gaining a victory. 

Carrie, Alice, I have an intense headache, let us go to our room. 

Aunt M. Don't yeou want me tew git yeou some pennyrial, it's fust rate 
fur headache ? 

Carrie. No, thanks. Good-night, {Alice and Carrie, exit r. 

Aunt M. I'm real sorry ef Frank's got tew cuttin' up his didoes ; it beats 
all possesst, h^ow these fellers will act, ez ef the old boy had a niorgage ou 
'em. But neow Marther, yeou go right up stairs an' see ef yepu can't hel]> 
that gal's headache, an, I'll go tew my room, 

Mrs II. Well, good night. {exit r. 

Aunt M. There, neow I've got red o' her, I'll jest start out on a cam- 
paign, an' victory'll be the result, there hain't no use in lettin* sin run ou 
jest as it's a mind tew, the best way is to haul it right up stock still, &u' 
that's what I'm goin' tew dew, Look here Pete, ef that's yeour pesky, nig- 
gery, name, I've got some work fur yeou tew dew. 

Pete. Tinks I'se done enuff already, lugged all dera boxes fer yer^ dat 
was worf tree dollar?. 

Aunt M. Never mind them neow; dew yeou know where Frank goes 
carousing nights ? 

Pete. Golly I dew ; I'se ben dere an' brung him home lots ob times ; hft 
gits jis ez drunk ez he kin, an' den I has to tote him home, but I ain'tgwiue 
ter do it any mo'. 

Aunt M. Where does he go ? 

Pete. Down ter Massa Wallace's room, but I ain't gwine after him, yer 
needn't ax me ter? 

Au7it M. Won't yeou save Frank ef yeou can ? 

Pete. Golly, I'll do anything fer Massa Frank, but how's yer gwine ter 
gabe him I Right tough job I reckon. 



•8 - OUR AWFUL AUi^TT. 

Aunt M. Yeou. leave that tew me. Yeou go au' put on yeour coat ac* 
corae with me. 

Fete. Go wid yer? Whar de dickens yer want mo ter go wid yer ? 

Aunt 21. Ask no questions; git reddy an' come along an' we'll put a 
Btop to Frank's tantrums. {Pete exit h.) I never yet walked out with a 
ni'o-ger, but I'll do that ef there's a chance tew save Marther's son. Kone 
onThe Johnsons ever died a drunkard yit an' I'm bound none on 'em shall 
ef I kin help it. I'll jest ferret this matter out ; that goggle-eyed fop Wal- 
lace, hain't any decent fellow, I believe there's an imp o' Satan stickin* 
right out o' his' weak eyes that don't mean any good tew Frank. Why 
under the sun don't that nigger come along? 'Spect folks'll think I'm 
elopin' with the ape, but I don't keer ef I kin accomplish my object. {2nUs 
on bonnet and shawl) It'll take that Pete till marnin' I s'pose. {picking up 
her vmhrella) Guess I'd better take this amberil, it ain't a goin' tew rain^ 
but I may need it fur a weapeu, I hain't a goin' ouprotected. 

Enter Fete l. dressed for loalk. 

Fete. Dere now, I'se ready. (takes her arm. 

A.unt M. {boxing his ears) Yeou sassy ape, can't yeou stand alone? Ef 
yeou don't stop yeour nonsense, I'll woUop yeou with this amberil. 
Fde, Come along den, I know how ter beau de gal's I does, {both ex.it R, 



ACT II. 

&CENE SECOND.— Interior of Wallace's room', wine glasses, eigafS, and 
cards on the table. 

Enter Fete) R. -followed by Aunt Matilda. 

Fete. Deve old woman is Massa Wallace's room, de place whar Massa 
Frank totes hisseif ebery night in de week, Now you's,e got here what 
you gwine ter do ? 

Aunt M. Do? I'm agoin' tew stay an' find out ^ullat there is goin' on; 
I've heern heow these fellers drink'n carouse, an' neow I'm goin' tew stay 
an' when the right minnit comes I'll bounce on Frank an' them other fel- 
lers, an' let "'em know that there's a christian woman a livin'ez won't stand 
by an' see 'em go down to perdition, without sayin' nary word. 

Fete. Golly, you'se got de spunk, yer has, dat's a fac', but we'd better 
be gitten' out o' here, el^*Massa Wallace comes an' cotches us here widout 
an' umvite, he'll disrest us for house-breakin'. 

,AuntM. Yeou'd better say fur head-breakin* j ef he gives me any o' 
his sass, I'll whack him on the cocoanut with my amberil ; I hain't afraid 
o' Mister Wallace, nor none o' his gang, an' ef yeou're skeert jest keep 
'.lose tew me an' I'll protect yeou. {Pete, stands very close to her, she picshes 
nim aside) Oh, yeou fool, yeou needn't hang onto my skirta like a year old 
baby ;.yeou behave yeourself. {goes to table) Yes, jest ez I 'spected, wine 
an' cards ; when fellers git kerried away with them, it's mighty hard work 
bringin' 'em to their senses. {Fete seizes a bottle of wine, and raises it to his 
lips, Aunt Matilda hits him with umbrella) There yeou pesky jack-a-nape, 
yeou put that stuff right down there on that table, an* don't yeou dare tew 
tech another drop on't, or I'll break every bone in yeour body with my 
amberil. 

Pete. Yer needn't yell like dat, Inebber teched one drop, she's you're 
born. 

AuntM. Wal, yeou lyin' ape I Never teched a drop I Why, I'll war- 
rant yeou driaked a pint. 



OUR AWFUL AUNT. 9 

Pete. Dat wan't no lie ; Hwan't one drop, 'twas a hundred. Gollv, some- 
body's comin' up de stairs I {listens at ike door) It's Massa Wallace! 
Golly, whafll we do? 

Aioit M. Hide, yeou fool, an' ef yeou don't keep still remember I'll lol- 
lop yoou with this amberiK Come along, we'll hide in this next room. 

(exit h, 
Enter Wallace r, followed by Dave. 

Wallace. Now we are alone Dave, we'll talk over our plan; we mua'- 
make quick work, and leave this place to-nii^hj;. 

Dave, I'm hard up and not contrary to filling my pockets with the sub- 
jitantial. If I had had my way, 'twould have been done long ago, but I sup- 
pose you found it very pleasant playing the agreeable to Hasleton's pretty 
sister, eh ? 

Wallace. Me, play agreeable to her? I tell you Dave, she hates me and 
80 do the rest of the family, they have plainly tried to break the intimacy 
between Hasletou and myself. 

Daiie. We'll break it to-night. 

Wallace. Could you have seen the jealous glances his pretty jf a?) cee gave 
me this evening, you would have trembled. 

Dave. She may have her lover and welcome alter this night's work. 
His friend Wallace, won't trouble her with his presence again, unless he 
happens to be caught. 

Wallace. Caught? That is impossible. Before he has recovered from 
the effects of the drug, we shall have emptied the safe and be far away. 
He is coming, that is his step. Make no mistake Dave, remember the drug 
is in this bottle with the blue marks on the label. 

[pours the drug into the bottle. 

Dave. All right, never fear me. But what if he hasn't the keys ik his 
pocket? 
Wallace. He has, he alwavs carries them. 

Enter Frank, b. 

Wallace. Here at last old fellow, eh ? 

Frank. Ami late? 

Wallace. Rather, but we'll excuse you. 

Dave. Whai^'s first on the programme, boys? 

Frank. A game of cards by all means. (thei/ take seat.^ at table, 

Wallace, (passing cigars) LeX's have a smoke first. I want you to trj 
these new cigars, the best in market. (they Wiht cigars. 

Dave, (pouring wine) Ye6,and this wine, thiajs the best in the market, 
eh, Wallace? * 

Frank. One doesn't need to be told that, Wallace always has good wine. 

Wallace. Dave, open that new bottle for Hasleton ; it's'a new brand sent 
me this afternoon. [Dave passes wine, all drink. 

Frank. That is good. You are a regular connoisseur in wines, Wallace. 

Dave. Now for a eong boys, what shall it be ? 

Wallace. "Home, Sweet Home," Hasleton. That is what your auirtuaed 
to sing to the Squire.. By Jove, she's a comical piece, isn't she ? 

Frank. Yes, but very good hearted. 

Dave. A song, a song I 

Frank. Yeo, yes, a song. This wine makes mo merry. Come ou. 

(all sing one verse of ** Little Brown Jug..'* 

Frank. My head feels'-hic-^uncommonly queer, that wine's — hie — a little 
too strong — hie— for me. 

Wallace. I guess not : it won't do you any harm. 

Dave, (aside to Wallace) He's getting pretty well over the bay. 

Frank. Come, come— hie— les' — les'— have— hie— another eong — hie— a 



10 OUR AWFUL AUNT. 

— another song, {all sing verse, of some bachanalian song, Frank sings very 
boisterously. 

Frank. (j>idting his hand to his head) My head grows worse — hie — I — I — 
guess — hie— that wine— was— strong, {rising) Guess— I'll — I'll go home. 

Wallace. (Pushing him back in the chair) No, no, sit down 5 you will be 
all right in a minute, just keep quiet. 

Dave, {aside to Wallace) It's working well. 

Frank. I-I-feel — hie — faint. (drops head on table 

{Dave and Wallace stand conversing in whispers 

Wallace, {goes to table, lavs his hand on Frank's shoulder) Hasleton I 

Dave. Ko answer, then ail is right. Now let's to work and find the key 
soon as possible, {they search his pockets, Dave finds the key) Here it is, 
now we are all right. {hands key to Wallace, who puts it in his pocket 

Enter, Axmt Matilda and Pete from l., quickly, the former brandishing an 

W7ibrelld. 

Aunt M. No, you hain't all right! Pete, you grab one pesky thief, an* 
I'll hold 'tother {she seizes Wallace, Pete seizes Dave, a lively scuffle ensues. 
Wallace strikes at Aunt M., toho grasps luvi by the throat and screams loudly) 
Help, murder, murder! Perlice, perlice! 

Pete. Police, police ! 

Enter, two Policemen, r. 

1st P. What is the matter here? 

Pete. Dese two fellers am a robbin' Massa Frank, an' de ole gal an' me 
we'se holdin' um till yer come, an — 

Aunt 31. Yes, Mister Perlicemau, this consarned foppy thief here, 
drugged an' robbed my nephew Frank, au' I'm about tuckered out holdin' 
onto him, so ef you'll clap some han'cuffs onto him an' rest me, I'd like it. 

1st P. We will arrest these men. {taps Wallace on shoulder) My maa, 
I'll take charge of you. 

fcZ P. {to Dave) And you are in. my charge. 

1st P. Now we Avill hear your story. 

Pete. Wal, me an' de ole gal corned in an' hid in de next room, an — 

Aunt 3f. Neow Pete, yeou shet up an' I'll tell that story myself. Yeou 
jist run up to the house an' bring Marther, Alice an' the Benton gal down 
tiere in no time; yeou. skedaddle ez fast as yeou can. {exit Pete R. 

1st P. Now my good woman go on. 

Aunt M. Wal this feller's name is Wallace, an' he's boon leadin' Frank 
into all sorts o' scrapes, teechm' him to play cards an' drink wine, an' to- 
Tiight when Frank started off, I made up my mind to ferret the scamp out, 
an' I've done it. The nigger knowed where they vvent, an' so he brought 
me here an' we hid in that room, an' binieby Wallace an' that thief there, 
come in an' planned how they was agoin' to drug Frank an' git the key 
o'the safe. Yeou know my nephew Frank is cashier in the National Bank 
0' the city, an' I 'aint goin' tew see him git into trouble. 

Wallace. Her story is a confounded lie. 

Aunt M. A lie, is it? Yeou call me a liar, dew yeou ? {strikes him tvith 
her uinbrella.) 

1st P. Madam, unless you are peaceful we shall have to arrest you. 

Aunt M. Yeou won't 'rest me so long az I've got this 'ere araberil ; I al- 
lers stand up fer my rights, an' there haint no perliceman in this country 
cv, kin run over me. 

i?'/ P. We shall have a case of assault and battery with intent to kill. 

Aunt M. Come, why don't you fellers go to work an' git them keys? 
Why don't you sarch that Wallnce an' git um ? 

Wallace. The woman lies, I have none of Hasleton's keys. 

Aunt M. He has, fur I saw him steal it. 



OUR AWFUL AUNT. 1] 

1st P. I will search him. {searches his pockets and finds key)' There, if 
that it, Madam ? 

Aunt M. I'm pretty certain 'tis. Yeou wait a miaute and Frank will 
tell you. {goes to Frank) Frank, Frank I Here boy, try au' rouse up, 
yeou're all right now, Aunt Matilda's got the scoundrels. 

Frank, {rasing his head) Oh, my head feels so strangely. 

Aunt M. I should think 'twould, but never mind that now. Come, boy 
wake up; dew you know me, Frank ? 

Frank. Yes. Where am 1 1 Aunt Matilda ! What— what's the matter? 
x'm choking — give me some water. {Aunt M. gives him ivater) Oh, that 
tastes good, my throat is burning— where am I? I — I can't think! 

Aunt M. Wal boy, yeou're in one o' the dens o' eatan, an' two o' his 
imps hev been tryiu' to drag yeou clown to perdition, but I jist spiled their 
little game. Yecu've been robbed, Frank. 

Frank, {rising quickly) Robbed! Where is Wallace? 

Au7it M. There ho is, in a fair way to git where his goggled-oyes will 
have to look through iron bars. 

1st P. {holds up key) Sir, what key is this ? 

Frank, {takes key) Why it is the key to the bank safe ! Where did 
you get it? 

1st P. In this felloe's pocket. 

Frank. Is this true ! Wallace, what means this ? 

Wallace. I saw you were getting drunk and took it for safe keeping. 

Aunt M. Don't yeou believe it. He drugged yeou, that new brand o' 
wine was drugged. He's a thief an' a scoundrel, there haint no name un- 
der heavens an' airtli mean enough for him. 

Frank. It is all a mystery, I can't understand it. 

Aunt M. I kin, if yeou can't, an' I'm jist agoin' to have justice done. 

Pete enters, h., followed hy Mrs. Hasleton, Alice and Carrie. 

Pete. Here dey is, de whole caboodle ob dem, mos' scat out ob der 
senses, cryin' like ez ef Massa Frank was dead. 

Mrs H. Frank, my boy, what has hapi)ened? 

Alice. I knew it would' come to some dreadful end; I alv/ays said Mr, 
Wallace was no true friend. 

Aunt Id. For massa sakes don't go tew scoldin' the poor boy when he 
haint half in his mind. He's all right now; this night'U be a lesson to 
him, an' he'll be an honest man fur the rest o' his nat'ral life. 

3d P. Come, we can't be dawdliu' jaere, the woman's story is fair 
enough, why not come along? 

Ist P. {(joinq to Mrs. II.) Madam, I am glad for your sake that this af- 
fair has terminated without further injury to your son's character. These 
men are well known to us as polished and scheming villains. 

{Exit R,, Police, Wallace and Dave 

Aunt M. A happy prison cell tew both on yeou. I jist feel ez if I could 
dance an old fashioned jig at yeour hangin'. 

Pete, GoUies, l*d like to be de hangman, yer jesbet dey'd dangle roun' in 
de air like two jtimpin'-jacks, 

Frank. After the diegraoe I have brought to you, how can I ask you to 
forgive. Mother, a penitent son asks pardon, and gives you his promise 
to reform, 

Mrs H. God bless you, my boy. For many days I have been anxious 
lieoause of your waywardness, but I knew that in His own good time the 
Master would give you back to me as noble and true as in the old days. 
13ut Frank, is there not another of whom you should ask forgiveness? 

Frank. You mean Carrie, 1 dare not hope now that her love is mine, 
yet Carrie, what is my fate? 

Carrie. Forgiven, and in the bright future before us this dark night 
will be forgotten. 



23 OUn AWFUL AtjNT. 

Prank. Thanks for that ray dearest. And now in the presence of all, 1 
solemnly promise to abstain forever from the accursed cup which would 
have been my ruin, but for the courage and love of Aunt Matilda, {takes 
her hand) How can I thank you for saving me from distruction. 

Aunt M. By keepin' in the right ro.'^d, my boy ^ the cross roads may 
look kinder invitin* but the straight an' narrow way alius leads to the best 
pasture. Yeou orter heai-n tew Alice in the beglniu'. 

Frank. Yes. my noble sister, I— ' 

Alice. No excuses Frank, My brother saved from disgrace, my heart is 
so full of happinessj that I can harbor no unforgiving thoughts. 

PetCi Dis am berry afFectin', I mus" say. 

Frank. Why Pete.; do you think you are forgotten ? 

Aunt M. I never could bear a nigijer, but 1 mus' say this Pete is gen- 
uine grit clear tew the backbone ; yeou'd orter thank him, fur Pd never got 
info this plaguey place ef it hadn't been fur him, 

Mrs H. Fete knows how much we all appreciate his faithfullness to 
Frank*, Yes, indeed, he has ever been a good friend to me. 

Pete. Now don't go to pilin' de taffy too stee,p, cos I'se liable to blush, 
an' dat would spile my complexion. 

Aunt M. (picking up her wfn.hrella) T'm jlstgoin' tew keep this ambrell, 
it's bin a friend in need to-night. I tell yeou, folks kjn talk about rifles an' 
guns an* pistols? and all them things, but there haint no weapon half ez; 
handy an' powerful az an ambrell. 

Pete. Pd liketer know ef you'se gvvin' ter stay here all night? 

Aunt M. I kinder reckon we won't, Pve had enuff o' this pesky place, 
my errand's done, an' Pm satisfied. 

'Frank. Yes, to-night I leave, once and forever, the haimts of sin and 
satan, and strengthened by your love I shall nevermore turn aside from 
■uprightness and honor; the p'.ist few irtonths I cast aside as an unholy 
memory and face the future a new man, saved by one whose name is en- 
graven in golden letters upon my heart; and to whom I owe a debt of grat- 
itude which can never be paid ; honor and thanks to my noble Aunt. 

Pete. YeS; dat's jis' it, t'anks to her. GolHes, Missus, yer can brung all 
de ban'boxes an' grass yer wants tew, an' dis yer chile will tote dem all 
ober de house fur yer, an' nebber'll find fault ag'in 'bout dat **AWFUL 
AUNT.'' 

CURTAIN. 



Ames' Plays—Continued, 



■0- 



NO. M. F. 

4S Schnaps I 1 

107 School 5'0 

183 Seeing Bosling 3 

138 Sewing Circle of Period... 5 

115 S. H. A. M. Pinafore 5 3 

55 Somebody's Nobody ...... 3 2 

94 16,000 YeVrs Ago 3 

2 3 Sport with a Sportsman... 2 

79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 3 

92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 

10 Stacks Up, Stocks Down.. 2 

137 Taking the Census 1 1 

62 Ten Nights in Bar-Room 7 3 

64 That Boy Sam 3 I 

40 That Mysterious B'dle ... 2 2 

38 The Bewitched Closet 5 2 

87 The Biter Bit 5 2 

131 The Cigarette 4 2 

144 Thekla 6 7 

101 The Coming Man„ 3 1 

67 The False Friend 6 1 

97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 

119 The Forty-Niners 10 4 

93 TheOentleman iii Black 9 4 
112 The New Magdalen 8 3 



118 The Popcorn M«n 3 l! 

71 The Peward of Crime 5 3 , 

U The Serf .^ 3', 

68 The Sham Professor 4 

6 The Studio :i (I 

102 Turn of the Tide 7 4 

54 TheTwoT. J's„ 4 2 

7 The Vow of the Ornani .. 8 1 I 
28 Thirty-thr«en.xtBrithd'y 4 2 

108 Those Awful Boys 5 j 

63 Three Glasses a Day 4 2' 

10-5 Through Snow and Sun- ! 

shine... 6 4| 

142 Tit for Tat 2 li 

4 Twain's Dodging „ '^ 1 i 

151 Wanted a Husband, 2 i : 

5 When Women Weep 3 2 ' 

121 Will-o'-the-Wisp 9 4| 

56 WooingXJnder Difficulties 4 3 1 

41 Won at Last 7 ?, \ 

.70 Which will he Marry. ..„ ii 8 ! 

135 Widower's Trials 5 4 | 

58 Wrecked 9 8 1 

147 Waking Him Up 1 2| 

111 Tankee Duelist 2 2] 



WilkiiiK' Ainateitr I>rainai><. 

Designed for the use of schools, amateur entertainments, etc. This 
volume contains the following plays: Rock Allen the Orphan, or Lost ;, 
and Found ; Three Glasses a Day, or the Broken Home^ Mother's Fool ; 
The Reward of Crime, or the Love of Gold ; The Coming Man ; The 
Turn of the Tide, or Wrecked in Port; Ha-sh. Neatly bound in .cloth, 
price 75 cents. 

Happy F]*aiik'!$ Coiiii<* Jliong: aiMl Joke Book.— Contains a 
choice collection of original songs, ,jokei'i,<^,onundrums, stump speeches, i 
etc. Jt also contains one complete Dutch sketch, on<^ negro farce, ami 1 
one negro sketch. Fifteen cents per copy. 

^^ Ploasc Koinein1»or that we can fill yonr orders for any ! 
play, dialogue book, speaker, guide book, piece of music, or anything 
in the line of amateur suj)plies such as wigs, beards, mustaches, face : 
powders, paints, colored fires, lightning — in .a word, anything you may '• 
find yourself in need of. We shall be ready to answer your letters of i 
inquiry at any time, and invite correspondence. In remitting please 
send a postal note, or a money order, where they can be obtained, or 
small amounts may be sent in one or two cent postage stamps. 

Address A. D. AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohio. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Latest Publ 

l^EW PLAYS-15 CI 




017 400 493 6 



The Emigrant's Daughter. —A border drama in 3 acts, by Len. Ellsworth 
Tilden, 8 males, 3 fouiale.s. Time of playing 2 hours. This drama is replete with 
startling situations, thrilling incidents, and is interesting from beginning to end. 
Every character is good, and beside the leading characters, include Indians, Coyotes, 
etc. A comedy — a party who is a professor of phrenology, will keep an audience in 
roars of laughter. There are also two good Irish comedy ])arts. See synopsis of in- 
cidents below. 

—SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS.— 

, ACT FIEST. — Coyotes in camp, the Cottrell emigrant train, Prairie 8i)irit causes 
surprise and fear, "a thousand dollars for the solving of the mystery," attac^k by 
the Indians, Skipp in a fix. Black Eagle's vow, compact of Devine and Budgett, 
the prairie on hre. Home of the Cottrells, Budgett laying his plans, a little rifle 
practice, Budgett departs for the Coyote camp, "to-night the attack shall be made," 
Skipp skips in, phrenology discussed, Bridgett's dander is up, "tell me I'm lousy 
will ye? examination of Patrick's head, "he hangs his banner on the outer walls," 
engagement of Minnie and Fynes, the Prairie Spirit appears, the camp attacked, 
"for life and liberty." 

. A CT SECOND.— Prisoners, Fynes buried alive, "he will be a kind of headstone to 
the Cottrell settlement," Devine swears to marry Minnie, her scorn, Fynes left 
alone to die, Skipp safe and a skipping, thinks the buried man a ghost, rescue of 
Fynes, appearance of the Prairie Spirit, Skipp offers to examine her head, "well 
she is the first woman I ever saw who wouldn't wag her naw— a good woman to 
man'y>" Black Eagle on the trail, a moi> solo, capture of Devine, torture at the 
stake, the Spirit^ppears, on the trail, a father's grief, "light dawns," Skipp lec- 
tures on phrenology, examination of heads, Skipp recognized as a former minister, 
he is detained to marry Devine to Minnie, "I am an American — in detaining me 
you insult the American flag." 
A CT THIRD. — Minnie's despair, the traitor, hope raised to be banished, foiled, 
the f oread marriage, "when Daniel Devine comes for his intended bride he shall 
find a bride of death," the strange letter, hope again, trouble in the Coyote camp, 
a duel between Budgett and Devine, death of Budgett, Skipp tries to skip per- 
forming the marriiige ceremony between Devine and Minnie, "according to 
the laws of phrenology you are not mated to wed together," the Prairie Spirit, 
divorced by death, story of the Prairie Spirit. Black Eagle revenged, "all peace 
now— llreat Spirit smile ou the Eniianaif-v Daurihter." 
New Years in New York; or. The German Baron. — An entirely new and 

original comedy in two acts, by W. II. Spingler, Jr., seven males six females. One 

of the best of mntieru comedies, containing a great variety of characters each entirely 

different from all the others. Full of humor from beginning to end, the Uerman 

character especiallv being well worthy the talent of the best comedians. 
Wanted a Husband. — A Dutcli sketch in 1 scene, by F. L. Cutler, 2 males, 1 

female. Very amusing — time 15 minutes. 
Cuff's Luck. — An Ethiopian sketch in 1 scene, by F. L. Cutler, 2 males 1 female, 

Another of Mr. Cutler's best. Time 15 minutes. 
Old Pompey.'— An Ethiopian sketch in 1 scene, by F. L. Cutler, 1 male 1 female. 

Good character for an aged darkey impersonator. Time 20 minutes. 
Tit for Tat, —a very pleasing comedietta in 1 act. by Ida M. Buxton, 2 males, 

1 female. Scene, a plain room— costuines modern— dialogue fresh and sparkling. A 

capital piece for amateurs — time 20 minutes. 



Happy Frank's I'oiiaio Sosbj;' and Joke ]S4»ok. 

Contains a choice collection of original songs, jokes, Cimundrums, stump speeches, 
etc. In addition to the above, it also contains one complet'i Dutch sketch, one Ethi- 
opian farce, and a Xegro- sketch, all of which have never before l)een published. Price 
15 per copy. 



>'e>v 3Iii*»i<' — Kverj JPfl*^oe a Cv4>^iii. 

JTY NAME rASHE/NR/CHHANS. — A roaring Dutch song, words by AY. T[. 
Spangler, Jr., music by F. 0. AViison. A great success and pronounced by both press 
and public the greatest hit of many years. Price ;30 cents. 

DLliE VAS EIN LEEDLE DEITCHER GAL. — A capital Dutch song for male 
voices, words by W. 11. Spangler, .Tr., music by F. 0. Wilson. Can be used as a solo, 
or as a solo and chorus. Price 30 cents. 

A HEALTH TO OCR HOSTESS. — A male quartette, words by W. H. Spangler, 
Jr., music by F. 0. AV i1s(m. It is sure to please all who purchase it. Price ''0 cts. 



